My Selfishness
When I posed the question on my last post, what did I expect? Nothing in particular. Sometimes, when we ask a question, we're fishing for a specific answer. Perhaps we want the answer so we can prove ourselves “right” or we’re trying to manipulate another person. I think both are bad choices. When I posed the question “why do you read my blog” I had no agenda and no list of suspected answers.
I was pleasantly surprised – very pleasantly. You told me some things about yourself.
I was amused by part of George’s response (PS: George has a PhD in psychology): “…you are opinionated, tough, self-reliant, headstrong, anti-social, and sometimes troubled, yet temper that…” How do I temper my natural tendency to be an opinionated and anti-social ass? I think I do it by selfishness.
I’m selfish and I want to enjoy life. I don’t enjoy it when confronted by unpleasant people attempting to force their opinions on me. I don’t like ranting and raving and chose not to read blogs that are a continuous series of rants. An occasional rant is fine – we all need to vent but ranting shouldn’t be a way of life. Because of my desire to enjoy life, it’s a small, selfish step to temper my opinionated tendency. I don’t want to be around myself when I’m opinionated. The only way to avoid myself is to learn to temper that part of my life.
Anti-social? I’m going to interpret that to mean I pick carefully my friends and social interaction. It’s true. I do avoid some people -- actually, many people. Life is too short to expend it in the company of unpleasant people. Besides, there’s the danger of being influenced by them. I think we are influenced – good or bad – by the company we keep. There are millions of people around me so I choose to have a brief conversation with unpleasant people, excuse myself and move on to pleasant people or a time of solitude.
This brings me back to what you told me about yourselves. Read the list above. You are “pleasant people”. I like your company. That’s the good thing abut blogging. I can find pleasant, interesting, un-opinionated people who help me enjoy life. Thank you for adding to my enjoyment.
I was pleasantly surprised – very pleasantly. You told me some things about yourself.
- You want to be a better person.
- You love your father.
- You are attracted to truth.
- You shy away from self-righteous people.
- You learn from others.
- You value compassion.
- You want community.
- And the list goes on . . .
I was amused by part of George’s response (PS: George has a PhD in psychology): “…you are opinionated, tough, self-reliant, headstrong, anti-social, and sometimes troubled, yet temper that…” How do I temper my natural tendency to be an opinionated and anti-social ass? I think I do it by selfishness.
I’m selfish and I want to enjoy life. I don’t enjoy it when confronted by unpleasant people attempting to force their opinions on me. I don’t like ranting and raving and chose not to read blogs that are a continuous series of rants. An occasional rant is fine – we all need to vent but ranting shouldn’t be a way of life. Because of my desire to enjoy life, it’s a small, selfish step to temper my opinionated tendency. I don’t want to be around myself when I’m opinionated. The only way to avoid myself is to learn to temper that part of my life.
Anti-social? I’m going to interpret that to mean I pick carefully my friends and social interaction. It’s true. I do avoid some people -- actually, many people. Life is too short to expend it in the company of unpleasant people. Besides, there’s the danger of being influenced by them. I think we are influenced – good or bad – by the company we keep. There are millions of people around me so I choose to have a brief conversation with unpleasant people, excuse myself and move on to pleasant people or a time of solitude.
This brings me back to what you told me about yourselves. Read the list above. You are “pleasant people”. I like your company. That’s the good thing abut blogging. I can find pleasant, interesting, un-opinionated people who help me enjoy life. Thank you for adding to my enjoyment.
posted by Paul at 9:22 AM
10 Comments:
I certainly hope you weren't talking about me when you said 'pleasant'.
Maybe I missed something along the way but I can't picture you as an "Anti-Social" lol. I mean Anti-social behaviour is that lacking in judgement and consideration for others, ranging from careless negligence to deliberately damaging activity.
Or perhaps you meant, not enjoying conversation with others.. which still doesn't fit your character from what i've read and seen so far. lol
:)
As we get older we look for the 'little gems'in all kinds of people. I just love the diversity and the challenge. Even when I was working, I enjoyed being around difficult people, because I always found something that delighted me about them. They were always grateful that I found it.
Not enough can be said about the company we choose to keep. I choose carefully; now sometimes I goof up--only human ya know? You're far from selfish--not a selfish bone in your body. Wanting inner peace and happiness, that's not selfish; that's fulfillment; and we all deserve it...
A Psychologist's Dictionary:
Opinionated: Has firm opinions
Anti-social: Does not follow the herd mentality
Headstrong: Follows own path
Tough: Tough
Troubled: Concerned, sometimes aggravated, with the traits of humankind
Self-reliant: Looks to live as much as possible off the grid
"yet temper that in favor of reason, lovingkindness, care, concern, and camaraderie."
Paul, I come to your blog because I perceive you to be honest but not just honest, but honest with a sincere heart to do good and add to the general well-being. If I hang around here long enough, perhaps some of those qualities will rub off on me. :-)
You're welcome, sir. And thank YOU.
:)
I notice you stated you love your father. How about your mother?
Anonymous, "You love your father" was extrapolated from a comment on the post that preceeded this post. The person who wrote the comment was making a statement about their father that indicated love. From reading their blog, I'm confident the person loves their mother also.
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