Community
The couple was in serious trouble. We met in an effort to discuss their marital struggles and, hopefully, avoid a divorce. The husband said something that caught my attention and caused me to ask him to repeat it to make sure I had heard correctly. He said “We are the only couple having trouble”.
How could he believe this? I think he was comparing himself to other couples in the church. As church people we were practiced and cautious to hide our struggles, fears, failures, problems and doubts. We presented a façade, a dishonest example and an unrealistic model to people in the church and to those outside.
His statement identified a problem and his words cause me to be more open. I write about my experiences, both good and bad, because doing so may help someone by offering a sense of identification and hope.
My main reason for reading blogs is to enjoy a sense of community. I learn, I empathize, I am encouraged, I am chastised and I am enriched by the people I call friends and know through their blogs. My main reason for writing is to contribute to the community as an equal member with some successes, some failures, some pain and some joy.
The cynic may say “misery loves company” but I prefer to say “we’re not alone – we’re in this together”.
How could he believe this? I think he was comparing himself to other couples in the church. As church people we were practiced and cautious to hide our struggles, fears, failures, problems and doubts. We presented a façade, a dishonest example and an unrealistic model to people in the church and to those outside.
His statement identified a problem and his words cause me to be more open. I write about my experiences, both good and bad, because doing so may help someone by offering a sense of identification and hope.
My main reason for reading blogs is to enjoy a sense of community. I learn, I empathize, I am encouraged, I am chastised and I am enriched by the people I call friends and know through their blogs. My main reason for writing is to contribute to the community as an equal member with some successes, some failures, some pain and some joy.
The cynic may say “misery loves company” but I prefer to say “we’re not alone – we’re in this together”.
posted by Paul at 9:35 PM
7 Comments:
When I was a young man and a Christian, I remember being embarrassed to ask the doctor for sleeping pills. I was under the impression that my faith should make all right with all things. Pretty silly. Sometimes people get funny notions. Take me for instance. :)
There's a danger in believing that we're the only ones that are experiencing difficulties. Sharing these difficulties helps put them into perspective and lets us know we're not alone.
Your blog and other blogs have widened my understanding too.
Knowing that I was not the first to experience a woe or advesity seemed to make me more determined to get through it. I used that technique so many times in Nam.
There is something very healthy about 'transparency'. We all suffer to grow, some are comfortable sharing their stories, others don't... I take it all on face value, that is, do what is comfortable for you.
No, We are not in it together, there is a lot of sense in what your friend said, they are the only couple having trouble. What is self ? self is universe, no self no universe.
I was like anvilcloud and thought I was on my own, too embarrassed to ask for help. I thought if I prayed hard and long enough, something would happen to change me. I still pray, I still struggle. But now, I also watch others that God puts in my life. I learn from them and sometimes lean on them. What a relief and blessing!
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