Wednesday, September 27, 2006

The Angry Post

The notice included the word “aggression” and that caught my interest. The University’s office of Employee Assistance and Wellness was offering the opportunity to participate in a men’s group that would meet for ten weeks. Aggression was listed as one of the possible subjects.

Why am I interested in a discussion of aggression? I’m interested because I feel it strongly. I don’t like what’s happening in the US. I’m angry. I'm a male and I have agressive instincts.

No one is torturing me but when prisoners are tortured then I take it personally. I’m not trying to escape justice and can’t understand why anyone would suggest that a person should be exempt from prosecution for crimes committed. I believe in honesty and get angry when politicians distort the truth.

I took a happiness inventory recently and scored higher than seventy-some percent of others with whom my results were compared. I feel fortunate. I own my place debt free, have an excellent marriage, am healthy, have a good job, make a decent salary, am in the process of going to an eleven month work contract, wake up each day with a sense of hope and feel optimistic about my personal future. I’m happy in my personal life but that’s no refuge from dishonesty or escape from social responsibility.

During a discussion among the men’s group the leader summarized my feelings as powerlessness. He’s right. I feel powerless. I can’t change things.

Tonight is the fourth meeting of the men’s group. I’ll hear profanity, honesty, pain, fear, hope and other emotions. I’ll leave the meeting feeling better because I’ll know there are others who struggle with the same things. The world won’t be different. The war will not end. Torturing will continue. Freedoms will continue to vanish and species will become extinct but I’ll feel a little better for a little while.

Strange! Some people choose alcohol, others chose some drug and I choose talking and writing but none of them solve the problems and end the injustice.

What’s the path to a real solution? I wish I knew!

I'm no longer proud to be an American. I feel guilty by association and that makes me more angry.

There's something worse than anger -- apathy. I prefer the feelings of shame and anger.

Two nights ago when I wrote the original post the emotion, the anger and some profanity came through loud and strong. Above is the revised and sterilized version. Perhaps I should have used the original.


Blogger MojoMan said...

I agree with most of your views about the direction America has been heading. Maybe it would be better if I was angry, too. Instead, I'm mostly mystified and confused. Those in power got elected. The big companies that support them get their money from us. We watch the TV shows that distract us from the real issues.

How did we get so stupid?

9/27/2006 05:13:00 PM  
Blogger Gaye said...

I agree... I prefer anger over apathy.

9/27/2006 05:58:00 PM  
Blogger Buffalo said...

Sterilized or not, it reads very well and resounds with truth. During my ride-a-bout nearly every person I spoke with felt exactly as you feel - exactly as I feel. Angry, frustrated and so very helpless, and with a healthy dose of fear thrown in for good measure. Talking and writing about it beats most other methods of dealing with it. Now if someone could come up with a solution.

9/27/2006 07:52:00 PM  
Blogger Whitesnake said...

For years and years I woke up and wanted to change the world and try and try as I might it never changed, one day I woke up and I change myself, the way I looked at things the way I went about things it was then that the world changed.
More likely the way I looked at it.
Paul you ain't alone, just remember that.

It is not that we can't change anything it is the fact we don't know how.

9/28/2006 01:20:00 AM  

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