The Way of All Flesh
Julie is in Amarillo where her mother is going the way of all flesh. Her decline with Alzheimers has necessitated a skilled care facility. On Friday her sister found a facility with an opening and her father was considering the option. On Saturday her father refused to agree and chose to continue caring for her as best his 85 years enable him to do so. On Sunday, apparently after an extremely difficult night, he acknowledged his inability and the need for skilled care.
Julie worked Monday to prepare for the end of the academic term and traveled to Amarillo yesterday. She called an hour ago with news that her mother is now in the facility. It was a sad experience for her and her sister but was much more devastating for her father. Julie is going to spend about a week with her family and will return next Tuesday.
A few years ago I saw a program on PBS about aging and death. One man looked at his wife with Alzheimers, commented on the difficulties and her angry outbursts toward him and said with compassion are caring "I don't see her like she is. I remember her like she was." I think he had the right attitude was was fortunate to have good memories.
Good experiences and relationships in the now will ease the loss in the future when we go the way that is inevitable. Before she left Julie suggested that we take a weekend trip for ourselves as soon as she returns. I agreed.